Golu: Job se nikale jaane ke baad se roz boss ke ghar ke saamne potty karta hoon.
Bholu: Ye kya harkat hei bhai?
Golu: Use batana chata hoon ki bhookha nahien mar raha hoon.
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A couple was sitting in the garden. Suddenly a dog and bitch start kissing each other.
Boy: Jaan! tum bura na maano to mein bhi….
Girl: ok… but smbhal ke, kahien vo kaat na le.
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Ladki: (Aqvarioum ko dekh ke boli): Ye machliyan itni sunder kyoun hoti hein!
Ladka: (Sprit Peete hue): Kyounki who kapade nahien pahanti..
SEEDHI BAAT NO BAKWAAS
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Munna Bhai: Arre Circuit! Mujhe ek nurse se pyaar ho gaya hei… letter mein kya likhoon?
Circuit: Simple Bhai! Likhna- DEAR Sister! I LOVE U… Tumhara Munna Bhai.
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GARAMI SONG:
Suno Gour se PEPSI walo… Buri nazar na COKE pe daalo
Chahe jitna DEW Pila lo…
Sabse aage hoga NEEMBU PAANI..
Humne piya heeeei lo.. tum bhi pio…
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Ladkiyan do type ki hoti hein..
1. Boring: Jo Dhoop mein bhi chata le ke nikalti hein.
2. Interesting: Jo Baarish din jaan bujh ke chata ghar bhool jaati hein.
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A couple had a fight one night. When they going to bed..
Husband says: Good Night! Mother of my three kids.
Wife Replied: Good Night! Father of NONE.
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Rahul Gandhi: Mom aapki vajah se meri shaadi nahien ho rahi hei.
Soniya Gandhi: Kyoun?
Rahul Gandhi: Har taraf likha hei.. Soniya ko “BAHUMAT″ do.
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A young boy died.
His mother cried: Haye-Haye mera baccha.. Arre abhi to usne kuch bhi nahien dekha tha..
Padosi ki beti: Mat ro Aunty, mat ro.. meine use sab kuch dikha diya tha.
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Nepali ko chiraag mila.
Usne chiraag ragda to jinn aaya aur bola: 3 wish maango
Nepali: 1. Oh Sab ji, ek bada bangla
           2. Usmen khoob dolatmand log
           3. Mujhe usmen watchman lagwa do
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MORDEN SHOLAY
Veru: Basanti in kutton ke saamne mat naachna..
Basanti: Excuseme, What the hell are you to talk to me like that… Hey Gabbar! Just put on the DJ and see How I ROCK…
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Police Sharabi se: Kahan jaa rahe ho?
Sharabi: Daru peene se hone wale nuksaan pe pravachan sunne..
Police: Itni raat ko koun deta hei paravachan?
Sharabi: Meri Biwi.
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Thekedaar ka beta: Papa! Mujhe ek bhai aur chahie..
Thekedaar: Beta is kaam mein 9 months lagte hein.
Beta: Aap to thekedaar ho.. 7-8 aadmi aur lagwa do, kaam jaldi ho jaaega.
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Ladki: Mummy ye padosi ka ladka baar baar mujhe kiss karke bhaag jata hei.
Mummy musukraai aur boli: Bada shararati hei, bilkul apne baap pe gaya hei.
———————————————————————————-

Ladki ki shaadi mein uska purana boyfriend bhi aaya tha…
Kisi ne usse pooncha: Kya aap hi dulha ho?
Boyfriend: Nahi.. mein semifinal mein out ho gaya tha.. yahan final dekhne aaya hoon.

INSTALLING HUSBAND‏
A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as  NEWS 5..0,   MONEY 3.0  and CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system..

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5..3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

Reply

DEAR  Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1..0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend:  Cooking 3.0 and  Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!