Ek teri idea ko apna bataye,
Aur Ek tera target har month badhaye
Koi nature se gentle,
koi bura  hota hai,
Par har ek boss zaruri  hota hai.

Ek ghadi ghadi review kare  par kabhi kabhi advice de
Ek kabhi kabhi review kare aur ghadi ghadi advice de

Koi Gyan ka ghoomta phirta satellite,
Koi din raat rakhe team ko  tight;
Koi welcomed hai, koi forced hota hai
Par har ek boss zaruri hota hai

Koi bossy boss,
koi friendly  boss
Koi Data crazy excel boss.
Moody boss, koi  gloomy boss
Early morning office aane wala Boss,
Koi late night jaane wala Boss

Koi promote na kare aur appraisal me tarsaye
Koi good suggestion ko bhi  thukhraye
Koi best friend aur, koi aloof hota hai
Par har ek boss Zaruri hota hai !!!  ;)

Kumar: What? How come ‘average’?

Big Boss: Because…err. ..uhh…you lack domain knowledge.

Kumar: But last year you said I am a domain expert and you put me in this project as a domain consultant.

Big Boss: Oh is it? Well, in that case, I think your domain knowledge has eroded this year.

Kumar: What???

Big Boss: Yes, I didn’t see you sharing knowledge on Purchasing domain.

Kumar: Why would I? Because I am not in Purchasing, I am in Manufacturing.

Big Boss: This is what I don’t like about you. You give excuse for everything.

Kumar: Huh? *Confused*

Big Boss: Next, you need to improve your communication skills.

Kumar: Like what? I am the one who trained the team on “Business Communication” , you sat in the audience and took notes, you remember?

Big Boss: Oh is it? Errr…well. .I mean, you need to improve your Social Pragmatic Affirmative Communication.

Kumar: Huh? What the hell is that? *Confused*

Big Boss: See! That’s why you need to learn about it.

Kumar: *head spinning*

Big Boss: Next, you need to sharpen your recruiting skills. All the guys you recruited left within 2 months.

Kumar: Well, not my mistake. You told them you will sit beside them and review their code, and most resigned the next day itself. Couple of them even attempted suicide.

Big Boss:*stunned* (recovers from shock) Err…anyway, I tried to give you a better rating, but our Normalization process gave you only ‘average′.

Kumar: Last year that process gave me ‘excellent’. This year just ‘average’? Why is this process pushing me up and down every year?

Big Boss: That’s a complicated process. You don’t want to hear.

Kumar: I′ll try to understand. Go ahead.

Big Boss: Well, we gather in a large room, write down the names of sub-ordinates in bits of paper, and throw them up in the air. Whichever lands on the floor gets ‘average’, whichever lands on table gets ‘good’, whichever we manage to catch gets ‘excellent’ and whichever gets stuck to ceiling gets ‘outstanding’ .

Kumar: (eyes popping out) What? Ridiculous! So who gets ‘poor’ rating?

Big Boss: Those are the ones we forget to write down.

Kumar: What the hell! And how can paper bits stick to ceiling for ‘outstanding’ ?

Big Boss: Oh no, now you have started questioning our 20 year old organizational process!

Kumar: *faints*

Golu: Job se nikale jaane ke baad se roz boss ke ghar ke saamne potty karta hoon.
Bholu: Ye kya harkat hei bhai?
Golu: Use batana chata hoon ki bhookha nahien mar raha hoon.
———————————————————————————-

A couple was sitting in the garden. Suddenly a dog and bitch start kissing each other.
Boy: Jaan! tum bura na maano to mein bhi….
Girl: ok… but smbhal ke, kahien vo kaat na le.
———————————————————————————-

Ladki: (Aqvarioum ko dekh ke boli): Ye machliyan itni sunder kyoun hoti hein!
Ladka: (Sprit Peete hue): Kyounki who kapade nahien pahanti..
SEEDHI BAAT NO BAKWAAS
———————————————————————————-

Munna Bhai: Arre Circuit! Mujhe ek nurse se pyaar ho gaya hei… letter mein kya likhoon?
Circuit: Simple Bhai! Likhna- DEAR Sister! I LOVE U… Tumhara Munna Bhai.
———————————————————————————-

GARAMI SONG:
Suno Gour se PEPSI walo… Buri nazar na COKE pe daalo
Chahe jitna DEW Pila lo…
Sabse aage hoga NEEMBU PAANI..
Humne piya heeeei lo.. tum bhi pio…
———————————————————————————-

Ladkiyan do type ki hoti hein..
1. Boring: Jo Dhoop mein bhi chata le ke nikalti hein.
2. Interesting: Jo Baarish din jaan bujh ke chata ghar bhool jaati hein.
———————————————————————————-

A couple had a fight one night. When they going to bed..
Husband says: Good Night! Mother of my three kids.
Wife Replied: Good Night! Father of NONE.
———————————————————————————-

Rahul Gandhi: Mom aapki vajah se meri shaadi nahien ho rahi hei.
Soniya Gandhi: Kyoun?
Rahul Gandhi: Har taraf likha hei.. Soniya ko “BAHUMAT” do.
———————————————————————————-

A young boy died.
His mother cried: Haye-Haye mera baccha.. Arre abhi to usne kuch bhi nahien dekha tha..
Padosi ki beti: Mat ro Aunty, mat ro.. meine use sab kuch dikha diya tha.
———————————————————————————-

Nepali ko chiraag mila.
Usne chiraag ragda to jinn aaya aur bola: 3 wish maango
Nepali: 1. Oh Sab ji, ek bada bangla
           2. Usmen khoob dolatmand log
           3. Mujhe usmen watchman lagwa do
———————————————————————————-

MORDEN SHOLAY
Veru: Basanti in kutton ke saamne mat naachna..
Basanti: Excuseme, What the hell are you to talk to me like that… Hey Gabbar! Just put on the DJ and see How I ROCK…
———————————————————————————-

Police Sharabi se: Kahan jaa rahe ho?
Sharabi: Daru peene se hone wale nuksaan pe pravachan sunne..
Police: Itni raat ko koun deta hei paravachan?
Sharabi: Meri Biwi.
———————————————————————————-

Thekedaar ka beta: Papa! Mujhe ek bhai aur chahie..
Thekedaar: Beta is kaam mein 9 months lagte hein.
Beta: Aap to thekedaar ho.. 7-8 aadmi aur lagwa do, kaam jaldi ho jaaega.
———————————————————————————-

Ladki: Mummy ye padosi ka ladka baar baar mujhe kiss karke bhaag jata hei.
Mummy musukraai aur boli: Bada shararati hei, bilkul apne baap pe gaya hei.
———————————————————————————-

Ladki ki shaadi mein uska purana boyfriend bhi aaya tha…
Kisi ne usse pooncha: Kya aap hi dulha ho?
Boyfriend: Nahi.. mein semifinal mein out ho gaya tha.. yahan final dekhne aaya hoon.

“The hands said, “We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.”

 And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.

All the parts lauged at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.

Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.m
All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Management Lesson: You don’t need brains to be Boss, any asshole will do!  

boss but everyone was loyal to him and did not think of quitting the job.
One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him – Sir, I have promised

to my children that I will take them to the exhibition going on in our
township. So I want to leave the office at 5 30 pm.
His boss replied “OK, You′re permitted to leave the office early today”
The Scientist started working. He continued his work after lunch. As usual
he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watch when he felt
he was close to completion.The time was 8.30 PM. Suddenly he remembered of
the promise he had given to his children.
He looked for his boss,,He was not there. Having told him in the morning
itself, he closed everything and left for home.
Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his
children.He reached home. Children were not there.His wife alone was
sitting
in the hall and reading magazines.
The situation was explosive, any talk would boomerang on him. His wife
asked
him “Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner if

you are hungry.
The man replied “If you would like to have coffee, i too will have but what

about Children ??”
Wife replied “You don’t know ?? Your manager came here at 5.15 PM and has
taken the children to the exhibition ”
What had really happened was … The boss who granted him permission was
observing him working seriously at 5.00 PM. He thought to himself, this
person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his children they
should enjoy the visit to exhibition.
So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition
The boss does not have to do it everytime. But once it is done, loyalty is
established.
That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss

eventhough the stress was tremendous.
By the way , can you hazard a guess as to who the boss was..?
He was none other than Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, President of India . . .